It's not only that I promised in sickness and in health, till death do us part;
and I'm a man of my word.
But as I have said, its the only fair thing.
She sacrified for me for forty years to make my life possible.
So if I cared for her for forty years, I'd still be in debt.
However, there's much more...
It's not that I have to. It's that I get to.
I loved her dearly. She's a delight.
And it's a great honor to care for such a wonderful person.
And Muriel loved me, too. But then she couldn’t speak in sentences, only words –
and often words that didn’t make sense. No when she meant yes, for example.
But she could still say one sentence.
And she said it often: “I love you.”
She has not only said it, she acted it.
During the latter years of my presidency at Columbia,
it became increasingly difficult to keep her at home.
As soon as I left for the office, she would take out after me.
The walk to school is a mile round-trip.
She would make take trip as many as ten times a day – ten miles, speed walking.
Sometimes at night when I helped her undress, I found bloody feet.
When I told our family doctor, he choked up. “Such love,” he said simply.
Then, after a moment, “I have a theory that
the characteristics developed across the years come out at times like these”.
As Alzheimer’s slowly locked away one part of my Muriel, then another,
every loss for her shut down a part of me.
Even in this loss, however, I made a wonderful discovery.
As Muriel became ever more dependent on me, our love seeped to deeper.
Though she never knew what has happening to her,
as I cared for her she responded with gratitude and cheerful contentment.
It was no great effort to do the loving thing for one who was altogether lovable.
But there was even greater discovery. It has to do with God’s love.
No one ever needed me like Muriel,
and no one ever responded to my efforts so totally as she.
It’s the nearest thing I’ve experienced on a human plane to
what my relationship with God was designed to be:
God’s unfailing love poured out in constant care of helpless me.
Surely he planned that relationship to draw from me
the kind of love and gratitude Muriel had for her man:
Her desperate longing to be with me,
her quite confidence in my ability and desire to care for her,
a mirror reflection of what my love for God should be.
．～．～．～．～．～．～．
The story between Robertson and Muriel caused me to sink into deep thoughts, especially the love and gratitude shown by Muriel towards her husband, even when she has totally lost her rationale mind.
“Characteristics developed across the years come out at times like these”.
I remembered that Pastor Wind once said similarly,
“one day when you grow old and gradually lost the ability to ‘hide’ skillfully,
the real you will be totally exposed.”
It reminds me so deeply once again:
One day, I will stand before my Lord ... naked.
Totally loss all the ability to act or hide.
So what kind of person will my Lord find me?
What kind of characteristics will He find that I have developed across all my years?
With tears, I prayed that He would help me to be someone He wants me to be.
that I will response to His love with all my life and in a way that delights Him.
And God’s love surrendered me so gently.
No word can describe that contentment –
knowing that you are so deeply loved and cherished by the almightly God –
a precious pearl held in His hands.
And I told Him resolutely. I will not accept any disease in my life.
I can feel the ache deep inside Robertson,
as he watched his once vivacious dearest wife deteriorate.
I would never let it happen to the One
who loves me so much;
and who has said -
He is the God that heals me.
